Friday was a tough day for us all. I think we were all a bit shocked to find that Jase's EKG was abnormal. Somehow deep in the recesses of my heart, I wanted to believe that each family is only allowed so many trials in their lifetime and if that was true, surely we had met our quota! I suppose I was having a bit of a pity party. In reality, I know life holds no such guarantees and trials will remain a part of the journey until its our time to go Home.
Well, we visited the doctor to gather Jase's records and were asked some astounding questions that I can't even bring myself to repeat. I felt a bit faint myself, and Jase was so scared. We returned home and while the boys busied themselves with some game time, I turned on the computer and was just overwhelmed with the prayers and support and scripture that so many of you shared with me. It was just exactly what I needed. I closed my door and wept and prayed and finally scooped myself up with renewed strength.
Yes, there will be trials but I KNOW God is right here to hold our hands and lead us through the dark. He has given me a peace (the kind that surpasses understanding) and strength that I truly did not possess three years ago when our family was confronted with its darkest moment with Colton's health battles. Sadly, I did not handle that one with grace. And I know that any strength or grace that I now possess is from God alone. It is a blessing that I would not have gained had I not traveled that difficult path. And so though I would not choose to repeat it, I find my heart grateful for the blessings that arose from that challenge and choose to view this next challenge as a path to something much greater. And though I don't know the outcome, I do know that my character and Jase's will be further refined by the fire and that we'll emerge on the other side victorious and stronger still.
And each of you, too, are gifts from the Lord. Thank you for bathing Jase (and me) in prayer. This morning, our family gathered around the computer and read aloud your prayers, scriptures and encouragement. It was such a blessing to us all and I know that Jase was encouraged as well.
And God has already answered one of those prayers. We were able to secure a new appointment with a cardiologist for Jase at Vanderbuilt in Nashville. We are now scheduled for February 25th ... much better than waiting until late March.
Jase was in much better spirits today. We enjoyed some family worship time and then headed to the woods for a hike to enjoy the little hints of springtime that are beginning to appear. Jase was teasing and being his silly self which was good for my "Mamas heart" to see. It was a happy day.
If I could, I would stretch my arms from Washington state to Australia and give you all a big hug. (I'm a hugger!) And though I am truly never at a loss for words, I struggle to express how much I appreciate your care. Somehow I hope you'll know.